Tare the scale and add the BTMS (or another cationic emulsifier) to the oil(s).
Heat the oil and BTMS mixture over the double boiler until the BTMS has melted. Fully stir the ingredients together until well combined and remove from the heat.
Slowly add the hot water to the hot oil mixture while stirring or blending, keeping both phases at a similar temperature (around 70–75°C / 160–170°F).Blend with an immersion blender (or stir vigorously) until the mixture comes together and begins to thicken.
Allow the mixture to cool, stirring occasionally, until it reaches around 90ºF/30ºC. Then add the preservative, essential oils, and any other heat-sensitive ingredients. Mix well to fully incorporate.
Test the pH of the conditioner. Ideally, you want the pH to be in a good range for both your hair (around 4.5–5) and for the effectiveness of your preservative. (It’s easiest to choose a preservative that works in that range rather than adjusting the whole recipe.) Adjust the pH down with a couple of drops of lactic acid (or, less likely, up with a solution of NaOH).
Bottle your conditioner. Wait until fully cooled to cap the bottle to prevent condensation from forming above the conditioner. You can now use it as needed!
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Notes
Make small batches and use within about 3 months.
You can substitute the argan oil with another oil or a blend of oils.
Glycerin is optional and can be replaced with more water if preferred.
If your conditioner feels too thick, you can reduce the BTMS slightly or increase the water a bit in your next batch.
Use a broad-spectrum preservative suitable for water-based products and follow its recommended usage rate. Most are used at around 0.5–1%, but always check your specific product.
Make sure your preservative works within the pH range of this recipe (around 4.5–5).